Monday, February 13, 2012

Don't Pressure Yourself, Love Yourself

"Forever alone!"  "Love won't ever find me." "I'm not pretty enough to have a boyfriend."  "Valentines Day = Alone day"  "I'll never have a boyfriend" etc.

Those seem to be the main words single girls say, especially on Valentines day. But why? 

Couples- you see them everywhere. From your favorite celebrities to people you go to school with, your friends or just seeing random couples in your local area. Relationships are very glamorized and seem to give the people who are in them a sense of what love is. You want that. You want to feel loved, to feel special and wanted. You want someone to tell you that you're beautiful, you want the good morning text messages and you want the late night phone calls full of expressing your feelings toward one another. It's every girl's dream. 

A lot of us think that having a boyfriend is a big deal. In school, whether you're in elementary middle or high, having a boyfriend is sort of like an upgrade. For some, it's one of the main golden tickets to popularity.  Why? Because being in a relationship is considered "cool".

What a lot of teens don't understand is that there is more to a relationship than the whole you ask someone out, put on the Facebook status "in a relationship" and then break up like 2 weeks later. Love isn't a joke but people sure do have a good time turning it into one! Being in a relationship takes a lot of effort, understanding and most of all, legit feelings.
What I mean by "legit feelings" is that you shouldn't just date a person because they're considered "hawt", "popular",  "the quarterback of the football team" or to upgrade your status. You shouldn't date just to have sex either (If you want to do that, take the relationship status off of it and slap on "Friends with Benefits").

Sometimes people only date because they want to feel loved, wanted, accepted, etc. If you think being in a relationship is going to help you "find" love, make you feel wanted or make you feel accepted, you aren't in the right state of mind. On top of that, you won't really have any successful relationships because you're relying on the other person to make you feel a certain way.

"To love oneself is the beginning to a life long romance."
 -Oscar Wilde

In order to feel love for another person and to be loved by another person, it's important that you love yourself first. 

You have to love who you are (your personality, looks, fashion sense, etc) and know that you are perfect just the way you are.
People always say "nobody's perfect". Even Hannah Montana said it! I'm totally against that. Selena Gomez is right! Who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? Who says you're not pretty or beautiful? WHO SAYS?!  You can be all of that and THEN SOME! You need to believe that and don't let anyone stop you or tell you otherwise. The prettiest girls are not only the happiest but the most confident.
You don't need a guy to affirm to you that you're pretty or precious on a daily basis and you don't need a guy to define you!! Guys can "smell" insecurity. Jerks and abusers go for those kind of girls. Don't let yourself be a victim. Know who you are or who you want to be, OWN it and don't let anyone stop you.

Once you begin to see yourself in a different light, others will too! We are only a sum of our thoughts.
If you say to yourself every time you look in a mirror "I'm fat" or "I'm ugly" and believe that, then you're basically giving the world a green card to think and see the same. Who wants that?!
So how about this: Every time you look in the mirror, say something positive about yourself. Maybe there's a feature that you really like about yourself. Acknowledge that feature by stating "My eyes are really pretty" or "I'm having a really great hair day!" Completely and utterly ignore anything you don't like. Don't even look at it! As time goes on, eventually you'll see so many good things about yourself, you'll look in the mirror and be like "MMM! Who is that pretty girl in the mirror I see?!"  Your confidence will sky rocket and you'll be a happier person. Then guess what?! Other's will think the same. You'll notice yourself getting more compliments, you're head will be held a lot higher and you won't care about what people think of you anymore. You'll be so confident, you may even scare yourself a little bit haha!

"Like attracts like!"

Stop pressuring yourself!

With all of that being said about being confident and loving yourself for you, now I get on to my last topic, STOP PRESSURING YOURSELF!
Who cares if it's "cool" or "in" to have a boyfriend. So what?! That doesn't define you. When the time is right for the right person to come into your life for the moment, he will. I believe that anyone who is in your life, you've attracted them in some sort of way. So if your confidence is up, you look good, you're taking care of yourself, you're happy and feel good, the right person will come along and he'll be amazing! Whereas if you feel bad all the time and don't even care about how you look anymore, look down on yourself and see yourself as worthless, you won't attract such nice people. Remember, "Like attracts like!"

In conclusion, stop worrying about not having a valentine or boyfriend. On Valentines day, take the time to love yourself or even to spread love. Treat yourself to a nice spa day, hang with your girls, go donate to your local shelters, or do all 3! Valentines day for me, is about love. Who says love is defined by only being in a relationship? Who says? ;)

For more confidence tips, I advise that you check out BossBitchTips on tumblr:
The tips they give are amazing and make me feel so much better! Don't forget to follow me on blogger and on twitter: @FlairBerry 

Thanks so much for tuning in, tweet me blog requests and stay tuned in for more blog posts!
Flair Berry <3

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