This whole topic isn't easy. Recently, I've had to go through this process and it's very difficult to do, especially when the toxic person in your life is someone you care a lot about. This happened to me with someone I was dating for 4 months. In this post, I'm going to give you the advice that I wish someone would have given me to help me deal with such heartbreak.
The first time we saw one another it was magical! We both looked at each other and went "woah" on the inside. It was like we were exactly what one another wanted and you would think that from there, our story would be perfect and it would lead us to live happily ever after. Well, that never happened.
Our first date was pretty awkward to be honest. Being homeschooled in high school, I didn't know the first thing about dating or how to act around someone you like so I got super awkward. The date overall was really fun though! We had wine and wings by the lake, it was all very romantic. As our journey progressed, we had a lot of disagreements. Even though we were what each other really wanted, we both had different agendas. He wanted things to be sexual and I wanted things to be romantic. Our entire 4 months of being together were filled with disagreements about sex, about dating, about being with one another and we broke up maybe 5 times but always came back to each other.
Throughout those 4 months, he was very emotionally abusive towards me. If I did anything wrong, the smallest thing, there was no such thing as "talking it out". It was him going "YOURE WRONG. THIS IS WHY. FUCK YOU." The things I did that he considered wrong were really rookie mistakes that I really didn't know he would be affected by especially when he was always reiterating the fact that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me and only wanted things to be physical. He constantly jumped from being romantic towards me to not giving two sh**ts about me like I was just some girl from the street. Needless to say, I was super confused throughout the entire relationship. A lot of our disagreements also had to do with the fact that I wasn't being affectionate enough. How could I be? I was introduced to his whole family, his friends, his EX, everyone yet I was being treated as no one special. I knew that he was a good person at his core and I fought really hard to keep us together throughout everything. I foolishly believed in us as a couple, he didn't.
We finally came to an end around New Year's. He had enough of our disagreements and decided that I should be with someone who shared the same desires relationship wise that he couldn't give me. There were a lot of things that lead to his decision, long story short, and even though we had "ended" things before, this time, he was really serious. It broke my heart.
He definitely wasn't the most influential and positive person in my life, I will tell you that. He said and did a lot of mean things to me that he doesn't see as wrong. Now that I'm reflecting on these things, I know not to tolerate them from anyone else.
The moral of the story is: whenever someone enters your life and you see signs of negative behavior, no matter what, leave. I believe in talking things out with people to check their intentions but when they've done you wrong and you point it out and they have no remorse for how they made you feel, you have to go. If you don't go, they will eventually leave you and you will be the one sitting there stuck and feeling low about it. Don't let this be you!
Never allow anyone to treat you and cause you to feel below your worth. As far as relationships go, there are so many people out here who are willing to give you things that will make you happy. Clinging on to one person isn't going to help you make your dreams come true. Just because that one person who you feel can't live without has qualities that you want in a person, that doesn't mean that you an alter them into the whole picture. It's either they're what you need or they are not.
The same applies to friendships. If they aren't supporting you 1000%, if they are excluding you when you are around other people, etc, leave them alone. I have people who pretended to be my friend but when it came time to hang out, I never heard from them. A lot of people come in and out of your life at their convenience. Stop allowing yourself to be a doggie door for these people. You deserve people who value having you in their life.
In conclusion, don't hesitate to cut people off when they need to be because when they feel that way towards you, I promise you, they won't hesitate. Don't allow yourself to be an underdog. Take control of how your relationships affect you. This is your life and you have the power to choose what kind of influences you want and don't want to be included in it.
Last night I watched the second Alice In Wonderland movie and needless to say, the fashion in the movie got me way too excited! It was very eye opening for me as a designer and it got me thinking about the fact that today, fashion is not as self expressive as it should be. Everyone wants to look the same! I think it stems from longing to be internet famous and thinking the only way to do it is to look a certain way.
I will admit that although nudes, blacks and greys are all fabulous, sophisticated colors, it's time to retire them. I think 2017 should be filled with tons of self expression and color. I'm not implying that everyone should dress like the characters in movies like Alice In Wonderland but I do think it's time for everyone to get original. Fashion is a form of art, a form of self expression. It's totally lost its face in the world of social media and it's trending facade of "look this way, it'll get you tons of followers!!" It seems as though a lot of people think that this particular look is going to be their one-way road to success. I disagree with that thought process. I think the social media world is ready for something new! I think we've had enough of the body suits paired with high waisted jeans and the over-doing of highlighters with an outrageous amount of lip fillers to match. I think being different can get you just as many (if not more) followers!
I made a Ravenna (from Snow White and The Huntsman) inspired set when I first started my Instagram and it got way more likes than any of my trendy sets. People appreciated the fact that it wasn't the same as everything else being posted. The recognition was very flattering! I think that's what makes the quirky designers so enjoyable to pay attention to. They're the ones who make the weirdest things look wearable and fashion forward. They're the trendsetters! I appreciate certain TV characters who do the same thing. For example, Aria from Pretty Little Liars, Bella Thorne and Zendaya's characters from the Disney Channel show "Shake It Up" and even Alex Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place! They mix the weirdest things and make it work! I think that's what fashion is about.
One day my friend Viri and I decided to take a trip to the lush store while window shopping at the mall. We came across the lipstick shelf and discovered two shades of blue lipsticks. Intrigued, we picked them up and applied them to our lips. Mine was a dark almost black blue and hers was a metallic june bug kind of blue. To test out their durability, we decided to walk around the mall and decided that if we liked them, we would go back and buy them. While browsing the MAC counter at Macy's, two women asked us about our lip colors. We told them we got the colors from the Lush store and the women left the MAC counter to go to the Lush store! At the end of the day, impressed by the durability, we decided to go back and buy the lipsticks. When we got there to purchase the lipsticks, an associate came up to us and said "I just want you to know that because you guys wore those colors outside of here, we had 5 other people come buy them and referenced you guys as their reason!" That was such a cool feeling knowing that us being different caused a store to have multiple sales in one product!
Being different may seem that scary because you aren't fitting in but once upon a time, the trends you follow were created by people who dared to be different. When Kylie did her lips, she got tons of hate for it but because of her, look at how much that entire industry blew up!
For 2017, I want you to challenge yourself to be different. Select fashionable pieces at your favorite stores that you don't see anyone else wearing and watch your social counts go up!
Over- the- Knee boots have grown in popularity all throughout 2016! Most of the time I see girls style them with high waisted jeans and oversized sweaters so today I wanted to present more fashion forward ways to style them!
On the left, you'll see Mrs. Kim Kardashian-West sporting a fur coat and a split dress with over the knee boots. This is a very fashion forward example of being out of the box in regards to styling your boots. The mix of her outfit and her accessories are perfect for a more urban/contemporary approach.
A long cardigan, scarf and slim jeans are perfect for over-the-knee boots! The look you see above is good for a causal look for a normal day out especially with the cold weather trending right now.
This look on the right is pretty similar to the first look I presented but less dramatic. A nice peacoat with a fur-like scarf goes great with over the knee boots. This is also a perfect winter ensemble!
I would also like to take the time to thank everyone who's kept tabs on me and continues to read my posts. I haven't been active for a while but I am back to blogging! If you haven't already, follow my *NEW* Instagram: @StyledByNaza My twitter remains the same: http://twitter.com/flairberry
I notice a lot of people are using the name FlairBerry for their own personal brands and I would like to make it clear that those have nothing to do with me! I am not in affiliation with FlairBerry.com or FlairBerry on instagram. These are individuals who weren't creative enough to come up with their own names so they decided to use ours. If you see anymore false accounts, please feel free to reach out to me and let me know!
Wearing fur in the 50's-80's weren't as taboo and socially frowned up on like it is today. Wearing fur was seen as more of a power status. Typically, anyone seen in fur garments were viewed as someone who obtained great wealth. Due to current power of social media however, the concept has made a total 180.
I think we can all agree that fur coats are a luxurious statement piece to any outfit. I personally love the look of it! However, considering the amount of harm being done to animals just the pleasure of looking good doesn't seem worth a $3500 price tag when I could invest in a beautiful doppelganger and look just as good while spending less than half the price of the real thing! I believe as humans, its important to consider our resources, just as we have begun to do with our beauty products.
Due to the popularity of social media, we're more aware of what actually goes into the products we love. It can really make you reconsider your investments. Previously on this blog, I wrote about how biased I was to the idea of real fur and how germane it was to me to know specifically which animal it came from. I stated that animals being shaved for coats was a better feeling for me than an animal being skinned for one (example: wearing shearling over chinchilla).
I remember when that one photo of the bunny being tortured for L'Oreal products was passed around every social media outlet there is. It was at the moment that I began doing research about every product that I owned (especially since one of my favorite animals are bunnies). I couldn't bare it! If you've ever owned an animal, you know that the common misconception of them not having souls or "real" feelings is totally false. Animals are just like us- they have a mind of their own and they have their own individual personalities. They have likes and dislikes! It disturbed me to think about the fact that whoever came up with this concept to do harsh testing on animals because they were considered to not have any feelings due to the fact that they don't walk and talk like us totally made sense to them. It still makes sense to the people involved in the process.
I love that the industry as a whole has come to better resources that create the illusion of things that we want. I love that we have faux fur and it can look and feel like the real thing. Sure, genuine fur is still seen as a luxury item but for me, its barbaric if an animal's pure life has to be sacrificed for my jacket, gloves or hat.